Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I'm an old frag

I got my first birthday card in the mail today. Whenever my friends are really on the ball like that it makes me feel really bad that I forgot their birthday this year.....but only by a day or two!! Thanks for the card Jess! :)

Its about 7 o'clock here and I just got back from a hike. When I left school today I was feeling so overwhelmed that I just wanted to cry. I came home, threw the ball for Zoe, then sat down to get to work. But as I sat at my desk I began to feel so utterly depressed I couldn't stand it. I'm not sure if it's school or the fact that Paul is gone or maybe a little of both. I know that a lot of people take a lot more classes than I'm taking and work at the same time and do great. I feel like I probably place a lot more pressure on myself to do well than most students while at the same time questioning whether I am really smart enough to accomplish what I want to. My biggest fear is that I'm kidding myself right now in thinking that I can actually 1) get into a PA school and 2) graduate from it. I am so afraid that I'm going to try my absolute hardest and it still won't be good enough. No one in my family has even been to college. I know that this is hardly the right kind of attitude but I thought that maybe if I got it down on paper/blog it would make me realize how stupid it sounds. Anyways, Zoe and I are going to pick up Kitty...then we're all heading to bar :)

1 comment:

Kwicky said...

Just think of all the stupid people in the world and how they somehow manage to get jobs, some even high profile. Then think of how much smarter you are and how easy it should be to do what you want, assuming you really want it. Remember The Secret? Hello?!