I rushed up to my computer after hearing ColdPlay perform a song on The Daily Show because I was so inspired that I had to write something. But, once I got to my computer I had to restart it b/c the internet wasn't working then it popped up with some AOL site that I could not exit out of. I was forced to create a new site and let that site become a tab. This really sucks because I was so jazzed about this song I just heard and so wanting to blog about it's greatness and then was the subject of some crap that AOL is forcing upon me which changed my entire mood completely. WTF people??

Anyways, the song was amazing and I am hoping to recoup some of the magic it bestowed upon me despite the obsticles I have been confronted with. It has been a very long time since a song has had that great of an impact on me. Most of the time I need to hear a song AT LEAST twice before it digs it's way into my subconcsious.

I am so, and have always been, so envious of those people that put into words what I feel so much of the time. I have tried, as I'm sure many people have, to write my own poems. I learned to play the guitar but was never diligent enough to be any good. I wrote songs with no music. I tried desperately to put on paper what I felt in my soul for a very long time. I eventually gave up on it. I think my mom kept all of my journals of poems in some boxes. I am hoping to be able to go through some of that stuff when I go back in a few days. Anyways, I heard a song tonight that really moved me. That happens so rarely that I felt I should blog about it.

All around the house is dust and dog hair and the like
I try to vacuum it up to make the floor pretty and bright
But Zoe seems to think her hair belongs on the floor
No matter what a tell her, she keeps shedding more and more

Maybe I will shave all of her hair right off
Then there will be no more of her hair that she could toss
All over the floor making it yucky, dirty and gross
I think that is a good idea, well, pretty good at most

Then there is the matter of a kitty cat you see
She is quite a particular cat, as particular as could be
She sheds as well and there's not much I can do
Perhaps she will be fond of a nice summer doo (hair doo that is :)

I look at little children with their sticky hands and food encrusted faces, listening to them yell and scream at their mother (b/c usually there is no male figure that seems to own these children) and I see a mother all smiles as if she is actually living in a different realm than her children. Personally, if I was being screamed at by another person, despite their age, I would be a bit concerned. These mothers, however, appear to not even realize they are being screamed at. Nor do they realize that everyone is staring at them and sending them, via ESM (extra sensory mail), that their child is insanely annoying and loud and please shut them the H%#@ up! What is this?? How do perfectly sane, socially functioning women lose one of their five senses post childbirth??

I have had a goal for about the last 4 years. I think everyone should have a goal. For a long time I was worried about my goals and my passions or rather, lack there of. While living in Reno and dipping a toe or two in the on-line dating pond, I realized that I wasn't really "passionate" about anything and my "goals" were to pay my bills during any given month and remain in the black.

In the dating world people are always asking about future goals and current passions. "Who are you?" , "What do you stand for?", "What do you like to do?". I was never, ever good at answering those questions and I kind of beat myself up for it. I felt like I must be lacking in one of the areas that make a human a human or maybe I just kind of sucked.

Anywho, back to the point. The questions I had to ask myself in order fill out all those forms forced me to take stock of a few things. First of all, I needed to passionate about something and second of all, gosh darn it...I needed a goal! My goal back then was to become a Physicians Assistant. I saw them day in and day out. I saw the respect they got from the nurses in the ER and how well they fielded questions from my Paramedic partners.....also, they make pretty good money.


The crazy thing is, I am pretty close to my goal! I never in a million years thought I would get this close. What always happens to me when I set out to accomplish something is that I get sidetracked. I pick something new to pursue and eventually end up getting nowhere and accomplishing squat. So, anyways I'm pretty excited to see what the next year will bring and all that good stuff :)