Sometimes I tend to get myself into debates with people that I probably shouldn't. Mostly it's just because I love to debate. I will even debate with someone that I totally agree with just because it's so fun. But I realize that some people are not able to come to that line that separates a debate from an argument, and not cross it. It's very easy for a simple conversation to escalate into a debate and then further escalate into a full blown argument. One person should probably recognize the volatility of exchange and stop it from going further but that might be like trying to stop a freight train with a cracker.
I was recently part of a lovely debate about marriage. The idea of marriage has always intrigued me because I find it difficult to justify marriage in any logical language. Why should a happy couple, living together with all the perks of a married couple, take the plunge? Why is having a husband so different than having a boyfriend? What is so significant about the contract of marriage? If you are in love with someone and they are in love with you, isn't that enough?
These are all questions that I have been asked in previous debates about marriage. Personally, I believe in marriage and hope to get married some day. Still, it is difficult for me to answer the questions above with any solid, concrete facts. I went to bed last night thinking about this and I think I may have come up with a reason that I can live with.
Dating is like going to the pound to pick out a dog. When you are at the pound you can peruse the dogs looking for the perfect one. If you think you've found the perfect one you can take him/her outside and spend sometime getting to know them. If, after spending some time with the dog you decide it probably wouldn't work out and it's just not the kind of dog you're looking for, you aren't obligated to adopt the dog. You can go back in and take out another dog or wait and come back another day. This, to me, is kind of like dating.
Marriage is the point at which you feel like you have found the right dog and are willing to commit to that dog through adoption. I think, even at this point, a lot of people don't feel obligated. They still feel that they are taking the dog home on a trial basis. They have not mentally committed to the relationship. Isn't this a lot like marriage? Suppose you get the dog home and it chews up your shoes, pees in the closet, gets into the trash, etc. Obviously, for a lot of people, taking the dog back seems like a great solution. But some people realize that when they brought this dog home, they made a commitment and they'll honor that commitment even though things are little different than they had hoped.
Anyways, I realize this is a terrible analogy and I deeply apologize. It was between this one and "dating is a lot like test driving a car" :) Either way, to me, marriage is the hand shake that seals the deal and I think that is as close as I am going to get to defining what it means to me.
I would welcome any other analogies you guys might have! :)
