Monday, December 8, 2008

The Good and The Bad

In high school and the years following (before moving out to Boulder) my Mom would constantly tell me to slow down, get some rest, take a break, etc.. In high school I was involved in so many activities (including planning keggers for the weekends) that I never had a chance to slow down. Then I got a job that I loved but had to be at for 60 hrs a week just to pay the bills (plus planning the keggers for the weekend :) If I didn't have somewhere to be or something to finish or someplace to go I didn't know what to do with myself. I was always on the go. Then I moved here and settled in. Yes I am going to school but I have never had so much free time in my life and I think there are good things and bad things associated with that.

The good things are: I have gotten really into cooking; something I never would have allowed myself to explore in the olden times. I'm trying to turn our "house" into a "home" which does take a bit of work. I can be somewhat spontaneous when it comes to trips Paul takes and gatherings that occur. I can go home to visit my folks and friends a lot more often than a lot of people get the opportunity to.

The bad things are: I find myself watching more TV than I ever have in my entire life. I have gained 10lbs since moving here. I drink more than I should. I have a lower self esteem b/c I am not as busy which means a poorer self image. I am more anal about certain things which I am not entirely certain comes from my lack of preoccupation....it could just be me getting older and more grumpy :)

Anyways, I truly want to return to the working world someday but I hope to find a happy balance between work and life. I think that feeling like you are a part of something; that you have a purpose everyday is crucial to ones well being. I know that I was happy when I was working 60 hrs a week and barely paying my bills....and I am happy now not working and having no trouble paying my bills...but there is always room for improvement and I will seek out that which will make me even more happy.

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