My Aching Back

So woke up sleep deprived again today. I'm not sure what is happening but all of a sudden our mattress is killing my back. It all started about 6 months ago. I would wake up in the middle of the night with one side of my back hurting. Usually I would just get up, walk around a little, stretch and then head back to bed and it would be fine. Lately, that tactic is not working anymore. Like clockwork I wake up every night at around 3:30 a.m. Because the stretching routine is not working anymore I am forced to sleep in the guest bedroom. The bed in there is much more firm and my back immediately feels better when I lay down on it.

I think that Paul and I have to get rid of our bed. It sucks because it is so huge that a replacement will undoubtedly be pricey and I'm not sure what to do with the one we have. I could try to sell it on Craigslist but used mattresses are hard to sell.....I wonder why??

So, if anyone wants an incredibly comfortable, Cal King mattress....I'm your girl!!

Squirrely Nerds

If I Were I Cat

Most likely a homeless cat after this performance ;)

If Paul Were a Cat

This is how I feel a lot of the time lately. I can't really pinpoint the reason I feel this way other than the fact that there are a lot of little reasons. I also can't tell if it is other people causing me to feel this way or if it is a change in my own attitude and perspective. All I know is that I don't like feeling this way and lately I am a bit annoyed with myself. I am hoping it has something to do with the planets and the stars and whatnot, and it will resolve itself on it's own. Unfortunately, things are hardly ever that easy.

It's been awhile I know. If you're still checking this blog....my apologies. Well, most of you know that we have made a new addition to our family. After going to the Humane Society to volunteer, Paul and I ended up taking home a 3 month old black lab. We named her Daisy.

We hadn't planned on it but it just kind of happened. She is a very sweet dog with a very small bladder! She hasn't yet learned how not to view our house as a giant toilet, but we are working on it.

It's a really weird thing. Paul and I both are still searching for her "personality". She is still very young so it may be too soon to tell what kind of dog she will be someday. I think she has potential because she really wants to please and hasn't shown any rebellious type behavior. She always comes when she is called and she has learned how to sit. She is a sweetheart but she's starting out in the negative. I know this isn't fair to her but she has some pretty large shoes to fill. I catch myself being disappointed at times in her behavior because she is acting so much like a dog. I realize I cannot allow myself to compare her to Zoe because I will always be disappointed. She is a unique creature that I will learn to love but there are those obstacles that I face.

She has made it a little easier around the house. When I come home, instead of immediately missing Zoe, I see Daisy. She is a sweet girl and she has a big heart. Having her around doesn't make me miss Zoe any less but she helps me focus on the present and helps me smile when I otherwise wouldn't.

It's been three weeks and I am still waiting for it to get easier. I didn't just lose a pet, I lost my best friend. I lost the girl that I sought every time I had a bad day, the girl that went hiking with me on summer evenings, the girl that kept me company on so many long road trips, the girl who rested her head on my shoulder and said more with her eyes than words could ever say. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. Every moment that I am not distracted, I am thinking of her. I don't see the day in the near future when I won't cry for her. I miss her so terribly.

Sometimes I feel as if I have misplaced something but I don't know what it is. Like something should be with me but isn't. I don't know if that feeling will ever go away. I kind of hope it doesn't.