What the heck is this all about?!

I completely forgot I had a blog! I doubt anyone is even going to read this cause it has been such a long time. Basically, being back in Colorado kicks ass! I love it here so much but the fact that I actually live here now and have a CO drivers license and everything makes it kick ass even more. It has been storming almost everyday which is my most favorite thing in the whole world. I've been back in school for about 2 weeks now and I doubt I've spent less than 3 hours on any given day studying. That is fine for now cause I dont really have much else to do, but I think I'll find it very annoying when Paul gets home. Well gotta run :)

sTuFf

My friend Katie came back to Vegas for awhile with her boyfriend Justin. They used to live here but moved back to Wisconsin a few months ago. She is a lot of fun and we have all been staying out till the wee hours of the morning almost every night that she has been here. Clubbing? No...playing poker! She is a fiend! We played at Bally's one night, MGM and Red Rock. I lost about $200 to Lou Diamond Phillips at MGM (for those of you don't know, he was in La Bamba and Young Guns) so that was a little cool but it would've have been cooler if I had taken his $200. Tomorrow is the 4th of July and we (Paul and me) Gabbry and Truman, Justin and Katie, John and Natalie will be headin out to Lake Mead where we rented a boat for the day. We'll also be meeting up with Ethan and gang who rented a party boat. It should be a lot of fun! Also, Paul has gotten me hooked on this stupid role playing game called Oblivion and now it's all I think about :)
Toodles

uuhg

Well, I've been back in Vegas awhile now and it is definitely wearing on me. I'm not miserable but I'm certainly not happy. I am not the kind of person that likes to remain idle (especially in the desert). If I am not doing something that I feel is a contribution to myself or others I am going nuts. Being in school over the spring is how I maintained my sanity here. I absolutely hate Las Vegas and without a distraction of some sort I get very depressed. Getting a job seems like a good solution but we will only be here until the middle of August at the latest (please please please) and I would hate to get a job and quit within a month and a half. I try to keep a smile on my face but I know at times it must look contrived. There are times when I am glad to be here like when Paul is in a tournament and we are busy running around and whatnot, but when that's not the case we get up late, play video games and lay around. I try to go to the gym regularly and I'm pretty successful at it most of the time but it's hard when we have on average 2 people staying with us at all times and everyone has different agendas for the day. I am now 10lbs heavier than I've ever been and that's only since we have lived in Vegas. I'm sure it is a combination of my unhappiness, sedentary lifestyle and dinners out about 4 times a week. When we didn't have tons of people in and out I would cook almost every night and eat pretty healthy, but it's difficult now. My weight issue is a huge part of my unhappiness. I have never struggled with it until recently and my self esteem has taken a pretty huge hit. I'm not looking for compliments, just stating the facts. Anyways, I gotta wrap it up....we're headed to Capo's (my favorite Italian restaurant) :)

I don't want anyone reading this to get the wrong idea. I love all of Paul's friends and really enjoy the company most of the time and I know how incredibly lucky I am to even have the option of not having a job. I am very grateful and appreciative of all the great things in my life....I guess I just needed to have a little pity party.

Kirby is the shizzle

After a sweet three weeks in Boulder which allowed me to catch up on a little Harry Potter action, learn some Smash Brothers moves that I'm sure will go down in history and see one of the most amazing thunderstorms that I have seen in a REALLY long time I hopped in the car for a lovely 12 hr cruise to Vegas. Oh my foot is it HOT! Whew...at midnight last night it was 91 degrees. There is a little puddle of Zoe outside where she melted :(

So having not spent a lot of time in Colorado one thing that grabs my attention are the prairie dogs on the side of the road. They are so cool how they are always just hanging out on their little mounds of dirt. I have just one question though...what the heck are they looking at? They always seem to be staring off into the distance...why?

yo diggity

YESSSSSS!!!! Finally, out of Vegas! You have no idea how happy this makes me. I moved from Reno to Boulder last summer and I remember leaving the last city of Nevada ( I think it was either Winnemuca or Elko) looking in my rear view at the fading casino lights and smiling ear to ear. I was nervous about the unknown road that lay before me but ecstatic to finally be leaving Reno in my past... Well, that lasted about 3 months then back to Nevada I went :) What is it with that state? It just has this death grip on me and won't let go! Anyways, I can honestly say that I would rather be in that shit hole with Paul than in Boulder without him (said "shithole" displayed above) :) So 6 months passed, me counting down the days till we got back to Boulder and now we are here!

I knew that the main objective of Paul and me making this trip was for Paul to buy a house. This was so extremely exciting to me. I felt like at times I was way more excited than anyone else and trying to control my excitement was very difficult. We ending up having very similar likes and dislikes when it came to houses (go figure) and when we saw the One it wasn't like I thought it would be. I thought that when you found a house you wanted to buy it would sparkle like a diamond in the rough but.....not so much. It was a pretty difficult decision but after 8 hrs and looking a the house 3 times, we were sold :)

I am now sitting at Moon's after finishing my second Harry Potter book in 3 days, listening/seeing out of my peripheral 3 grown men playing Magic the Gathering and drinking a beer that tastes oddly like raisins. Paul, myself, an 80 lb black lab (aka Zoe) and one spoiled cat are sharing a twin bed every night. I am currently living out of a pile of clothes on the floor (suitcase having been deemed unnecessary) and eating frozen pizzas/Top Roman most nights and I can honestly say I couldn't be happier :) Granted I would like to make a few friends, get back into school and get all moved in but for the most part I am very happy to be here :)

I've met with an academic advisor and have a very vague idea of what I should be doing for the next semester. I swear....the actual act of taking college classes and deciding what classes to take, when to take them, where to take them, bla bla bla... well, its almost as hard as the classes themselves! I've transferred so many times. I think I've attended a total of 4 colleges. Each time I transfer I lose credits and its getting very old! I hope against hope that CU Boulder will be the 2nd to last college I ever attend (PA school after :) Ok y'all, peace :)

what to do...what to do

I have led a somewhat nomadic lifestyle, moving from place to place my entire life. I went to 6 different elementary schools growing up, never staying at one longer than the school year and since graduation from high school I have moved 18 times (with kitty in tow). A lot of this has to do with the fact that I cannot seem to make a decision about what I want to do with my life. The longest period of time that I have ever had the same job is 3 years and that's not b/c I get fired, it's just b/c I get bored. I have boxes that I literally have not unpacked for 6yrs. YIKES! I think it's because I am always expecting to uproot yet again. I'm going to make a pact with myself that if those boxes aren't unpacked by the time I'm thirty, I don't really need any of that crap that is in them anyways and i should just throw them away.

I think that when someone wants to do so many things they end up doing nothing because they can never focus long enough on one thing to make it happen. I have been going to college on and off (mostly on) since I graduated high school and still have nothing to show for it. I have changed my mind so many times regarding the career pathway I would like to choose that all I have managed to do is wander in circles.

Finally I realize that I definitely want to go into medicine but I am struggling at a fork in the road. One road is that to a Physician's Assistant Program and the other is to Paramedic School.

Benefits of being a PA:
1) They make lots of dough
2) They play a much more intimate role regarding a patients long term treatment whereas a paramedic is with a patient for only a matter of minutes.
3) Chances of getting spit on, punched in the face or covered in poo are significantly less
4) They make lots of dough

Benefits of being a paramedic
1) Everyday is different
2) You get the chance to relate to patients in a way that no one else gets to
3) You get to drive super fast on the wrong side of the road and sometimes on sidewalks
4) You only have to spend a matter of minutes with patients ( a good thing when they are covered in poo)

Anyways, I loved being an EMT and at the time that I quit that job I was definitely ready for paramedic school. But, being a paramedic is dangerous. Not only are you putting yourself in precarious situations at times, it is also physically demanding and the chances of suffering a life long debilitating back injury are incredibly high. The schedules are horrendous (12 hr shifts, 4 days a week) The pay is even worse (14.50 per hr for starting medics) But damn...it was fun! I just think that, even though there were a lot of things I loved about that job, I should grow up and make a responsible decision.

One of the reasons I opted to try for a PA program instead of nursing is one of the reasons why I'm not sure I would be content as a paramedic. Once a paramedic enters a hospital with a patient, more often than not, a doctor could not care less about what the paramedic has to say. To most doctors a paramedic is nothing more than a glorified taxi driver. Personally, I have a great interest in the pathology behind a patients symptoms which, in turn, drives me to be more inquisitive and learn as much as I can about different ailments, medications, side effects, etc. I wonder if I would be content to just be the taxi driver. As an EMT I always wanted to know more and be more involved. Nurses are kind of in the same element. They take orders from doctors and that's pretty much it. There are exceptions, I know, but for the most part it is not in their job description to make decisions. That would drive me nuts. I want to make decisions and call the shots. So......it's either calling the shots in field as a paramedic or calling the shots (I'd still have to work under a doctors supervision but I'd get to tell the nurses what to do ;) in an ER or a clinic or wherever as a PA.

My foot itches

I know that I said just a few posts ago that I enjoy my alone time and all that jazz and that remains true. There just comes a point when alone time really sucks. I thought Paul would be returning home tonight from N.Y. and then we would leave for CO in a week but I guess plans changed and he'll be flying straight to CO. So that means a week of Kitty, Zoe and me getting to know each other REALLY well. Which is fine...kitty and I don't talk nearly as much as we used to and we need to catch up :)

I guess maybe I'm a little more sad at the thought of spending this stretch alone than previous stretches because before I had a friend in town I could call if I wanted to. That friend has recently discovered what I kinda knew about Vegas all along and has moved back home. My mom asked me why I haven't made more friends since I have been here. I guess the reason is that I have always viewed Vegas as a temporary situation. That being the case I never really made any effort to go out of my way to form bonds with people I know that I would be leaving shortly. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do or not. Probably not.

I have always been the kind of person that has just a few close friends that are practically family to me. I don't have "acquaintances" because I don't see the point. If I meet someone at work or school that I feel is very easy to hang out with I may invest more energy into them...after all friendships don't happen overnight. A good example of how my way of thinking is is not always correct (hard to believe, I know) is how I met my friend Candice.

Candice went to the Christian school but took a Spanish class at the high school. That's where I first met her. I thought she was very stuck up and snobby, she thought I partied too much. Anyways, I started dating her next door neighbor of 17 years after I graduated and heard through him that she didn't have very nice things to say about me.

A few months went by and my boyfriend at the time mentioned to me that I should go horseback riding with Candice sometime (she had horses). Even though I knew I was not her favorite person on the planet and she definitely wasn't mine, I could not turn down the opportunity to go horseback riding. So she picked me up one afternoon and we drove to where she kept her horses. What took mere minutes felt like hours I think because of how hard each of us were trying to disguise the awkwardness of the situation. Long story short, we arrived, hopped on the horses and then she tried to kill me but she did not succeed and now we are best friends! :) We have been friends now for almost 7 years and man we have some crazy memories! I was the maid of honor at her wedding and her family is my family. I could tell stories but I think the only ones laughing would be Candice and me! So...do I have a point? ah, yes. I guess if I hadn't have plunged into that awkward situation and put forth the energy to make a new friend, I'd be out a lifetime of amazing memories!