YUM YUM!

I got home tonight at about 7:30 and decided to make some cornbread from scratch. I know what you're all thinking, "Easy there! It's a Wednesday!" :) I actually attempted to make some last night using the recipe that comes on the back of the cornmeal bag and it was so terrible Zoe wouldn't even eat it. So tonight I got a great recipe from www.allrecipes.com. and it turned out really good. But it kinda sucks cause I'm the only one here and I'll probably only end up eating one or two slices. So, if anyone is in the neighborhood and wants some yummy cornbread, you know where to look! ;)

That McDonalds McSkillet commercial IS really dumb. Thank you Pickle for enlightening me :)

Are you kidding me?!

This is pretty much the saddest thing I have ever seen. For two reasons. 1) It's freaking sad and 2) What kind of people actually do this kind of thing? Do they get their two weeks of vacation a year and say..."Sweet! I can finally go out and obliterate those damned tiny, burrow living, pup rearing, evil little critters!" WTF!!

http://www.bossranch.com/new/hunting.htm

Man, its so hard

I don't know why, but every time I sit down to post something I feel like it needs to be this great and awe inspiring post that will knock the socks off of everyone. But, I must teach myself that its ok to post crap. So here goes :)

I've really gotten into cooking lately. My mom still freaks out because while I was in highschool she tried so hard to get me to cook but I always had other stuff going on or I just didn't feel like it. But it's weird now. Sometimes I'll just get so excited about cooking a new recipe or slapping together trusty favorite. I think I'm growing up...or something. Anyway, Alia made the best dinner the other night for Pickett and me and I can't wait to try it out when Paul gets home.

Tonight I had sesh-wan beef from May Wah and it was meh. It's usually much better so I am very disappointed :( I had a stupid speech to finish for my stupid speech class. I'm not a big fan of the speech class in case you didn't know.

I'm giving a persuasive speech tomorrow on why online poker should not be made illegal. It's going to be a lot like Annie Duke's speech to Congress. But then, I have to argue the other side of my speech later on. That will bite a big one. O-well. School is not fun this semester at all. But, I need something to blog about later so I'm going to leave you in suspense.

Question: If you could make a "pocket guide" to anything....what would it be?

Hello?? Is anyone out there?

I just got a laptop and I am very excited to be typing this in my bed! I just wanted ya'll to know that I am going to make a concentrated effort to blog more often. Even if I don't have anything interesting to say, I'm just going to say stuff.....stuff....stuff....stuff. So everyone get prepared to be delighted and well.......stuff :)

math sucks

It is currently 4:06 a.m and i have to be up in about four hours. I've laid in bed for what seems like an eternity fighting this incessant desire to work out pointless math problems in my head. This sounds really stupid right? Well...it IS! and it is driving me nuts! There are no answers to these problems and they go on endlessly! I have no idea how to turn off my brain when this happens. The first time it happened I thought, "weird". The 2nd and 3rd time I thought "ok, this is getting really annoying". Now I lay down at night and half expect it. I've gotten into the bad habit of taking Advil PM every night before I go to bed. This actually helped but I don't want to have to depend on something for my sleep. After a month of sleeping alone Paul finally returned home. I thought this may help with whatever latent anxiety was causing me to do math problems in my sleep and it did. However, I have lost my boyfriend to a more attractive date tonight, Ben and Zack ;), and I find myself in a most familiar situation. I'm not quite sure what to do. So many days I wake up exhausted, feeling like I haven't slept at all. Anyways, I've read for an hour and writing now hoping it will help.

I'm not sure if everyone is like this or maybe just crazy me but in high school there was this girl that I kind of idolized. She was in my class and I was friends with her but not really close friends. Even to this day I'm not really sure why I put her up on a pedestal but I think it was because she embodied at that time what I hoped to become with time. She was not more beautiful or more intelligent or more popular than other girls she was just always "her" and that is what I admired about her. She was never a lot of things, but always one thing and that was genuine. And that is how I have always hoped to be. I cannot even begin to express the amount of situations in my life in which I have asked myself if she would have done the same thing if she was in my position. I know this may sound odd but we all have people we look up to and try to model ourselves after.

Anyways, since graduation and my release into the wild I have always strived to be a "good person". I'm not sure what this means but to me it means looking upon the world with always innocent eyes, no preconceptions, no judgement, a good sense of humor, the ability to to see the best in people, to discern right from wrong, to have honest empathy and the consternation to follow your heart. I have always strived for these qualities and sometimes I am proud of myself and other times I feel like I don't know myself at all. But what I have noticed lately about myself is that I am more like the girl I idolized in high school than I have ever been and that feels really good. This actual girl is not so important as what she instilled in me at a crucial time in my adolescence. I certainly don't have the desire to look her up now because that is not the point. The point is what I learned from her when it was important and for that I am forever grateful.

I'm an old frag

I got my first birthday card in the mail today. Whenever my friends are really on the ball like that it makes me feel really bad that I forgot their birthday this year.....but only by a day or two!! Thanks for the card Jess! :)

Its about 7 o'clock here and I just got back from a hike. When I left school today I was feeling so overwhelmed that I just wanted to cry. I came home, threw the ball for Zoe, then sat down to get to work. But as I sat at my desk I began to feel so utterly depressed I couldn't stand it. I'm not sure if it's school or the fact that Paul is gone or maybe a little of both. I know that a lot of people take a lot more classes than I'm taking and work at the same time and do great. I feel like I probably place a lot more pressure on myself to do well than most students while at the same time questioning whether I am really smart enough to accomplish what I want to. My biggest fear is that I'm kidding myself right now in thinking that I can actually 1) get into a PA school and 2) graduate from it. I am so afraid that I'm going to try my absolute hardest and it still won't be good enough. No one in my family has even been to college. I know that this is hardly the right kind of attitude but I thought that maybe if I got it down on paper/blog it would make me realize how stupid it sounds. Anyways, Zoe and I are going to pick up Kitty...then we're all heading to bar :)